December 24th, 2001

..........Jealousy in good nature is a compliment. The "Oh, I wish I could look that good in blue!" type is fine. Bitter jealousy is not. Bitter jealousy... I understand its roots, yet I cannot comprehend its reasoning. I am watching a friendship crumble because a friend is jealous. Of me. I don't think she knows I am aware of the matter, and I can't be sure she is consciously aware of how she is behaving, but I have seen the change. I needn't go into detail, because the time is not right. I believe its roots come from my better self-confidence, and perhaps it is assumed I have a better life. I suspect large factors in it are also my spriting/graphics ability, and my writing ability. I can't be sure, but it is an educated assumption based on her behavior. I am hoping none of it stems from the belief I'm 'better looking' than "Betty" is. Some of it may, since this is an online thing, stem also from the fact my sister and I run a successful chatroom on IRC, or that we are viewed as 'more popular' there than Betty. I can't understand why, if she is supposedly my friend, she became jealous. I understand what she could be jealous of, but I just don't get why anybody wastes time growing bitter and jealous of somebody else. We're all jealous, but we aren't all bitterly jealous.  I know several artists, and I truly wish I could draw as well as some of them do, but I don't grow spiteful because they can do what I can't. I don't refuse to look at their work when they ask me to because of this small envy.
..........Looks: Nobody should allow themselves to hate or be jealous of somebody because they are 'better looking'. I have on countless occasions tried to explain to a former friend who believed she was "ugly" because she was over-weight that it didn''t matter. Of course, rather than do anything about it, such as trying a PROPER diet (starving yourself is NOT a proper diet!!), or trying to improve her self-esteem by looking at what she was good at, she would just keep on complaining, and put me down for being 'pretty', saying I only said what I said because I was 'pretty' and that I didn't understand. I am here to tell you that pretty people don't have it any easier than 'ugly' people.
..........Popularity: It's not easy being 'popular' or 'unpopular'. I've been down both roads, and I know where of I speak. It doesn't matter if you are or aren't popular, as long as you are yourself. If you are patiently yourself, you are eventually going to find people that you fit in with.
..........Abilities: Some people got it, some people don't. Wouldn't it be boring if we were all Shakespeares? Some people write, some people draw, some people sing, and there are those gifted who can do more than one thing well. You should focus and be proud of what you do best. Just don't look down on people who can't do it as well as you do, and don't rub it in. I'm not saying to put yourself down when people praise you, or to not talk about something your proud of, I'm saying thank people for their compliments graciously. Be tactful when you want to show something off. For example, though perhaps this should go under the "Looks" section... If I'm shopping with somebody who may not be as confident in their looks as I am now (I didn't used to be), I'm not going to come out of the dressing room in a little red number and say, "Damn, I look SEXY!". Instead I'd ask for some useful input, such as "Do you think this will work for the occasion?" so that they can answer and say "No, you don't wear sleeveless sparkly red dresses to weddings! Especially to weddings in CHURCHES! Cover up, for God's sake!" or "Yeah, I'm sure your crush will notice you at the dance if you're wearing that!" Think before you speak, girls and boys. (That was a lame example, but I hope it got the point across.)
..........Possessions: Some people are jealous because someone else has 'better' things. It's just stupid it get worked up over something like that. Save money, and get your own, if it's THAT big a deal. So what if they have a GameCube already and you don't? So you got a used car on your 16th birthday, and your friend got a brand new Mustang. A car is a car is car is a car and as long as it runs well and is safe, a car is a stupid thing to get worked up over. Material things don't matter much in the long run. It is who you are that matters. Not what you own. YOU define yourself. Objects do not define you. All the diamonds in the world won't make somebody feel good about themself. All the antique paintings in the world won't make you an artist. Yeah, it's nice having nice stuff, and it's not nearly as nice as having not so great stuff, but if it works, it works. Sure, this 17 inch monitor isn't as good as my neighbor's really large one, but it doesn't matter. And hey, this keyboard is nicer than theirs anyways. ^.~
..........Remember, there is always somebody better off than you, and there is always somebody worse off than you. There is always somebody who can do something better than you, and there things you can do better than other people. Focus on what you can do, do it, and do it well. Admire those who can do what you can't, don't hate them for it. Pretty faces don't always make pretty people, and 'ugly' faces don't always make 'ugly people'. More money doesn't make somebody better off, and less money doesn't mean you haven't got it good. It doesn't matter if others don't like you. Focus on your friends and family, the people who love you. They're the ones that matter. And real friends will like you despite flaws. ~ Kaioshin no Miko