Song performed by Little Texas
Songfic written by: Firefury

    Relena sighed and hugged the worn teddy bear close, and watched the silent gundam pilot who stood before her in the darkness, his Prussian blue eyes cast downward. It had been years since she had last seen Heero, and now, here he was, in her house. She sighed and twisted the wedding ring she wore on her finger, at a loss.

    She had waited, she had tried so hard and for so long, but Heero had constantly kept himself at a distance, remote. In the past ten years, she had finally convinced herself to move on, that Heero was just a crush from her schoolgirl days. She had settled down, gotten married to someone else.
    "Heero... I-I'm sorry-"

    "I know." Heero interrupted her, his voice the same monotone she remembered so well, but with the faintest edge of regret. Relena's thoughts idly drifted back to the days of the war, when they had come so close, but Heero kept himself at a distance. They could have been something more, but... she tried to shut down that train of thought. She couldn't change the past. She loved the man she had married, as much as she loved Heero. What else could she do?

    "So.... how have you been, Heero-?" Relena asked in a desperate attempt to bridge the silence, to bridge all the years they had been apart. The Perfect Soldier shrugged, his own thoughts drifting back through the years, to a time he could have had Relena. He had almost been happy then, able to be close to her under the pretense of protecting her, while in reality, he had tried to wrestle with his own conflicting feelings. After the war, they had been torn apart- Relena delving into maintaining the hard-won peace, while he disappeared, hoping to forget the past, or to come to terms with his emotions that had threatened to betray him so many times when he saw her- at some conference, on TV, anywhere. He almost wished the war hadn't ended so that he could have stayed close to her, but a time of peace left him with no goal, no purpose, no mission in life. He was left stranded in a strange new era, with only his jumbled emotions to guide him.

    Clenching a fist, Heero tried to just stop thinking. The past hurt, but not nearly so much as this discovery that Relena had moved on without him, left him alone to try to recover from this. The one thing he had lived for was now beyond his grasp, given to another. If only he had stopped fighting his heart, they could have been together forever, happy, at peace. But his own hesitation had been his failing. He thought she would have waited, but he had been wrong. Terribly so. If only he had acted sooner, if only, if only, if only! Then things might have been different. But they're not... The Perfect Soldier slumped ever so slightly.

    Heero looked at Relena. She was still beautiful, even after the years apart. Her soft blue eyes shimmered with unshed tears. She still wanted to be with him, but Heero could see that she was torn. He wanted nothing more than to hold her, to comfort her, to take her away to be his and only his, but that would be cruel to her. She had moved on, he had no choice but to do the same. To continue to persue her would only cause her more pain, himself more heartache.
    "Heero-" Relena whispered, her voice strained.
    "Relena..." Heero walked around the table, cupping his hands around her face gently, leaning in close until his face was just centimeters from hers, like he would kiss her. Part of her hoped that Heero would, but part of her screamed silently at him to stop, that she had finally gotten over him.
    "Heero- I..." Relena couldn't find words to express the pain she felt. Heero abruptly stood back up, turning away from Relena.
    "It's better this way." He said quietly, glancing over his shoulder at Relena. She saw he was trying to hold back tears of his own, and that only made hers harder to hold back. "Goodbye, Relena."
    Head bowed in defeat, the Perfect Soldier walked away, disappearing into the darkness of the night outside. And Relena cried, mourning the loss of what might have been.

    Heero sat on a rocky outcropping in the canyon he had been camped in for the past month, contemplating his gun through tear-blurred eyes. He had failed his final mission, one he had set for himself. He had arrived too late, he had been so selfish, afraid for himself, and so he had hidden away from her. He truly had nothing left to live for. In silence, he lifted the gun to his temple and closed his eyes, allowing the tears to finally spill over.
    "Sayonara, Relena."
    A single gunshot rang through the canyon, echoing off the stone walls.